You planned carefully for the day of the intervention - the day which was designed to help your loved one come out from the dark place of addiction. You followed the best practises:
- Assembled a close team of friends and family, as well as an experienced interventionist
- Gathered information on your loved one’s actions so that they can share how they affected others
- Understand treatment options so they can be explained when the time comes
- Chose an optimal date, time of day and a location for the intervention
Unfortunately, though, as is often true, the best laid plans don’t pan out. Addiction tends to put up resistance, even against the most well-intentioned intervention.
If your intervention doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the story. Your loved one is still battling the disease, and you are still with them.
Now more than ever it’s essential that you show compassion for both your loved one are for yourself. You should persevere, but first take a moment to reflect on your experience before you jump to the next step.
Reflect on your experienced
How did the intervention go? What parts went smoothly and what didn’t go so smooth?
Interventions have many variables. If you are the driving force behind it, youcan only control so many of the variables. Think about the people who were present. How did you pick them? Dideveryone contribute in a positive way towards the goal of theintervention? If not, it might behelpful to have a conversation with the person who was not so helpful.
Their relationship with your loved one might be a trigger.
At a second intervention, it is fine to exclude the people who caused too much tension or disruption in the first attempt. The intervention space needs to be one which is safe and secure for everyone who is involved.
In thinking about logistics, it is worth evaluation of the location and setting of the intervention. If your team made your loved one in any way uncomfortable, then it might be time for a change.
Finally, it is necessary for you to reflecton your loved one. Why didn’t they respond well to the intervention? How did they react? Did they not hold uptheir end of the bargain? How has addiction confused their priorities and caused them to be resistant to yourgestures?
Part of moving forward involves determining if another intervention is a good decision in you case. If your loved one’s response was overwhelmingly negative, then the answer might be no. However, you choose to process, you would do well to consult professional advice.
Learn more about their situation
Post-intervention can be a good time tohave a refresher on exactly how addiction works. The effects on your loved one, your familyand yourself all stem from the disease of addiction.
There are many great resources online whichcan offer you explanations on why recovery is so challenging, and letting you know what it takes to make it work.
After researching what addiction is, and how it affects the addicted person, it is valuable for you to remind yourself that there is a path to recovery.
Say you are sorry
Instead of letting an unsuccessful addiction intervention push your family apart, it might be time to instead swallow your pride. If you or anyone in the intervention said anything that was hurtful during the failed intervention, then you should apologize. Be careful not to attack, but instead simply apologize for the unkind words.
This might be able to help mend some of the damaged cause by the last intervention. If your addicted loved one is hesitant to talk with you, then writing an apology letter could help.
Stop enabling
Though you loved them, you might be making their addiction even worse. People are unaware that their behavior is actually enabling the addiction of their loved one. If you want your loved one to stop, then you should stop enabling them and keep in place strict boundaries. Examine your behavior more closely and make an effort to stop enabling them. Your loved one will have to face the consequences of their addiction, and will be more likely to want to stop by themselves.
Get them help of a professional
